Asiaville Special Investigation: Why Are The People In ‘Student Of The Year 2’ Trailer Allergic To Gravity?
In this reportage, we see what happens when you make people jump constantly in a trailer for a mainstream Bollywood movie. We investigate the giant leap for the Hindi film industry and the jump in the general state of movies in the country.
As I made my way into the office, my editor was quick to point out the big Bollywood release on Friday. I’m pretty sure you know the movie from the headline.
Dharma’s blockbuster release of the year, Student of the Year 2, revolves around a bunch of schoolkids who do everything in their powers (except academics) to win the title of the best student of Saint Theresa school.
Where is this school, you ask? We don’t know. We’ve tried calling up schools, parents and children to get their perspective on six-pack laden kids who don’t blink twice while driving a Maserati. We’ve ended up concluding that this is a super-secret school somewhere in the mountains.
Does this come off as badly written fiction? But didn’t you guys love Harry Potter and the school for Magic? At least the only things that are Wingardium Leviosa-ed in SOTY 2 are the actors themselves.
If Bollywood gets a pass by hamfisting a plot and peppering attractive actors to come up with a movie, why shouldn’t we come up with an investigation into the school by looking at the trailer?
Let’s look at all the evidence of flying humans in the trailer.
It starts off with people dancing because why not.
Why is he screaming right before the jump?
Expectations: There’ll be flying cars in the future.
Tiger Shroff jumping over the hurdle called common sense.
Did I lose my dignity after typing the headline?
Is that a bird? Is that a plane? No. It's the flying jutt.
Why hasn't Tiger Shroff represented India at the Olympics?
I mean... look at him.
He uses his superlative gymnastics abilities in everything he does.
But in this trailer, Tiger Shroff meets an antagonist who looks like a sasta Varun Dhawan.
He literally gets kicked out of the school.
And he then decides to do his own version of the 'Eye of the Tiger' montage.
Is this ballet? Or gymnastics? Or MMA? We'd never know.
(*Makes a mental note*: Never mess with a gymnast.)
What school has a Premier League level stadium?
But then this is a special school with special students.
Tiger Shroff was unimpressed by that haircut.
Two legs, three birds. Tiger Shroff is wiping the floor with Mathematics and Physics.
Of course, there's a beach sequence. Near the hills. At a school.
I'm just grumpy because I didn't get invited to St. Theresa High School.
If Baba Ramdev could float, he'd be Tiger Shroff.
Is this the worst block in Kabbaddi history?
Scientists at ISRO are talking to Dharma productions about the technology that Tiger Shroff uses to take-off. Maybe the answer to cheap space travel lies with the guy who’s worked in movies like Baaghi, Munna Michael and Flying Jatt.
Tiger Shroff is so good that he might turn the Delhi franchise into the winners of the next Pro-Kabaddi League.
Why do we have kids standing behind the bad guy? Are they the real students?
Fortunately, the trailer finished after 27 flying sequences. With this, I'd like to formally close this investigation. If you want more of these hot takes on pop-culture, please follow Asiaville on social media.