The five worst Shah Rukh Khan films
Tum jiyo hazaro saal, but if you keep making films like these, your stardom 'Kal Ho Na Ho'
Friends, H8ers and fans, 2nd of November is upon us, which is also known as the day when Indians and their mothers wait for an ageing superstar to perform a dangerous stunt by climbing the rails of his house overlooking the Arabian sea. TV channels will play emotional montages on Shah Rukh Khan's career, emotional intellectuals will lament his recent film choices, 90s kids will go into a nostalgia trip and I will watch 'Chamatkar' for the umpteenth time.
But before that let us recount 5 SRK films which are probably the reason why aliens don't talk to us.
5. Raam Jaane (1995)
I am not saying that SRK's tapori-turn had anything to do with his rivalry with Aamir, who had just charmed the nation playing a tapori in RGV's Rangeela, but what came out in Raam Jaane was a bafflingly poor performance. Though it was a middling hit and trumped Aamir and Juhi's Akele Hum Akele Tum on the box office, it is a prime example of a movie not aging well.
4. Koyla (1997)
In this obscenely loud Rakesh Roshan melodrama Shah Rukh plays a dumb (I know it's politically incorrect to say this, but we do this for a joke) character, which is also the adjective which can be used to describe this film. It is a testament to the movie's ugliness that we constantly root for Amrish Puri to kill Madhuri and SRK and get it over with.
3. Hum Tumhaare Hain Sanam (2002)
Starring Khan, Dixit, Salman and Aishwarya Rai, this is a bizarre cinematic artifact- rumouredly directed by upto five people over a period of several years -- has long been a toast for fans of so-bad-it's-good schlock. In this remake of the Tamil movie 'Thotta Chinungi' (starring Revathy) there is a scene which has an inebriated SRK talking to the statue of a horse and that's perhaps the only memorable thing about this star vehicle.
9. Ra One (2011)
I am personally very attached to this film. I was in class VII and I deeply cared about SRK and his purse. So when the entire promotional campiagn was based on how much money SRK has spent making this trainwrek (the climax of the film actually takes place in a train), I felt as the number 1 SRK stan, I should make sure that the film makes at least 200 crores (back then that used to be good number, believe it or not). So I emotionally blackmailed my mother and made her pay for the tickets of entire my entire friend circle. Few hours later, not only I felt bad for SRK and his most expensive midlife crisis, but I understood what wasting money means.
8. Happy New Year (2014)
When a wooden Sonu Sood and a hamming Abhishek Bachchan are the best parts about a 'heist film', you can guess what level of insufferable this smash-hit was. But at least he was still giving hits. *crying emoji* By end of this film, my rational sense was assaulted in so many ways that I felt the only things this desi 'Oceans 11' managed steal were my money and sanity (remember by now I have a sense of saving).
Keeping these films in mind, it's perhaps a good thing that he has found a career being a talk-show guest, graduation ceremony speaker and a Ted Talks host. But call it hypocrisy or whatever, but any SRK film, even the aforementioned, if they come on TV on a lazy afternoon, I would watch them without any hestitation. Afterall Shah Rukh is just not a star, he's an emtion, a phenomenon and an inspiration for millions of Inidans who are not 6 ft-tall, fair or a rich kid with 'connections'. Happy birthday, Shah Rukh. Now do a good film, please.
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